‘No’- might be a small word but it is more carries a powerful message when used in the right place. If you’re looking for a peaceful life then you are in the right place. This post is based on my personal experience and how I started to enjoy myself just by saying the simple and easy word- ‘No’!. I used to believe my happiness was based on how well I could please others, but once I started to say ‘Yes to other’s commitments and goals, I had to say ’No’ to myself.
I was in the assumption that the more I could say ‘Yes’ to others, the more I would be happy. But at one point in time, I was burnt out. I was tired of saying Yes, so I decided to start saying No.
Stop being a People Pleaser
Stop being a people pleaser!- It is a highly overrated suggestion from society. We have grown up with it and are still following it for no reason! Everyone suggests pleasing others to have a good impression. Yes, it is good to create a good impression, but that does not mean you need to please everyone. Each one of us is having a limited amount of energy and a limited set of resources.
The biggest problem in saying ’No’ is people take it as rejection. We need to remember that we are only responsible for what we say and what is in our hands and not for what others think and perceive about us. If you start considering others’ opinions you will fall back to the ‘People Pleaser’ zone again. People are afraid to say no because of the same reason. They think they will be rejected, but the truth is when you start saying Yes, you are over-committing too much than your ability.
Learn to say NO!
Have you seen a 5 years old kid, he is happier than an adult. If we boil down to the root cause it is very simple, he does not fear others’ rejection and others’ feelings. He is bothered only about his happiness and is least bothered about what the world thinks about him.
Start by saying ’No’ to small things which do have a huge impact on our daily life. We are grown up and hardwired to say ‘yes’ subconsciously. Even before our mind processes the situation our words speak. There is a lot to unlearn before we learn something new.
Limited Time and Energy!
We need to be aware of the fact that none of us are permanent in this world, and are limited with energy and resources. Life is small and simple. Rather than fulfilling others’ dreams and goals, start to analyze your commitments. When you start saying ‘No’ to others you have more time to fulfil your goals.
One last thing to say, it’s your right to say No and you are not responsible for others’ feelings and emotions.